The following Graduation Writing Proficiency Examination
essays were written by HSU students during a regularly-scheduled
GWPE. Except for the elimination of cross-outs, the essays are reproduced
here exactly as written.
Insofar as possible, the essays were chosen to represent
the entire range of possible scores. (No essay received a score
of One on Essay Topic I.)
The majors represented by the authors of these essays
are, in alphabetical order, Art, Biology, Business Administration,
Environmental Resources Engineering, Fisheries, Geography, Geology,
Industrial Arts, and Resource Planning and Interpretation.
You have 45 minutes to write on the following topic.
A distinguished essayist once wrote: "Some books are to be
tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested."
Write an essay in which you:
Describe a book that has strongly affected you.
2. Explain how your reading of this book changed your outlook.
3. Tell why you think this book had such a profound effect on you.
 SCORE OF SIX
During my third year of college I became acutely aware of the
Womens Rights Issue. I made an attempt to re-examine many of the
cultural norms that I had previously accepted as just being "the
natural order of things." One of the paths I took to expand
my awareness of the female psyche involved women's literature. That
is why I spent one weekend of my life in bed - crying, laughing,
feeling sometimes confused, and often, incredibly angry and distraught.
On that rainy Humboldt Friday night I had decided to read "The
Women's Room."
The author, Marilyn Fridey, describes the lives of several women
from the 1950's to present. These women are nothing out of the ordinary.
They either go to college and then get married, or they get married
without bothering about the pretense of college - after all, they
know that college is only a way to find more economically promising
husbands. Myra, the main character whose life is traced throughout
the book vaguely wonders why she is not content cooking pot roast,
scraping shit from the baby's diapers, and picking up her husband's
dry cleaning. Her only solace is the neighborhood of women who share
concerns over coffee in the afternoons.
They wonder why Katherine, a Catholic woman who has 9 children and
an alcoholic husband, committed suicide. "She had a normal
life, they thought, she just should have talked her husband into
using birth control." As for the rest of the women, including
Myra, their lives, fears, disappointments and yearnings, were much
more subtle, yet equally suicidal in their quiet desperation.
Many years down the road, Myra's life finally changes. Her husband
has "made it", the kids have grown, and life is easy economically.
Myra has a nervous breakdown. Once recovered, she divorces, and
becomes a graduate student at Yale. Though painful and difficult,
it is here that she comes to terms with herself, realizes her potential,
and learns to live with herself - not necessarily happily - but
at least honestly.
After I finished the story of Myras world that Sunday evening, I
woke up in the middle of the night sobbing uncontrollably from a
terrible nightmare. Though I couldn't remember the dream, I came
to a profound realization. Myra's life was my mothers.
Most of my life I had revered, respected and admired my father for
going to college, being intelligent and worldly, having power and
control. In short for being a man.
My mother always seemed too "wishy-washy", easily trodden
upon, overly dependent because she had chosen the role of HOUSEWIFE,
MOTHER. I rebelled against the tradition, and feared wearing those
chains someday. Consequently, I strove to be like my father.
Until this book, I never realized how much more courage it took
for a person to live within a stifled role, and find contentment
by living through other people. During that night of crying I understood
my mother for the first time - I respected her inner strength, compassion,
gentleness.
Ever since then, my relationship with my mother has evolved, and
we are very close. I will probably never adopt the role in life
that she chose to take, but I now respect her for her life, and
understand the reasons why she made those choices. Reading of Myra's
evolution as a female changed the way I feel towards myself, my
feelings and compassion for my mother, and provided me with a much
more sensitive view towards the lives of many women in our society
today.
COMMENT: Clearly a well-written, superior essay. Each of
the three parts of the topic is covered and well-developed, with
considerable detail provided. Despite an occasional lapse in the
use of the possessive and a few other matters, the paper is strong
in mechanics. Sentence structure is sophisticated and effective.
SCORE OF FIVE
Through the ages of 8-15 I was an avid reader of pleasure books.
The majority of the books were mysteries such as Nancy Drew or the
Hardy Boys. Books about animals were avoided because they usually
had a very sentimental theme, and I was very emotional when it came
to animal suffering.
When I was approximately 10 years old I read a book titled Misty
& Chatlenaque. This book was about a young horse
that was stranded on an island. It had been on a horse-trading ship
when the ship wrecked on the rocks. Misty went through several adventures
where wild dogs tried to kill her, horse traders tried to capture
her (and beat her in the process), and the sea tried to swallow
her.
A little girl who lived on the Island found Misty and tried to protect
her from the wild dogs and horse traders. The story was told from
the horse's point view, and the agony and terror Misty went through
passed on to me. I felt as if it were me who was being chased and
beat.
A girl at the age of ten is influenced by the things she sees and
reads. Years after reading the book I had the notion that horse
ranches were terrible to horses. I also felt that horses were very
human in the sense that they could think, feel, understand, and
have emotions.
Whenever I passed by a horse who was behind a fence I had to stop
and feed it, talk to it, pet it, and feel sorry for it. Every horse
had that "Misty" look in its eyes, and I felt it was "crying
out to me".
After reading Misty and Chatlenaque, horses became more than
just an animal to me. They became something I could relate to and
sympathize with. I myself was a lonely child who felt neglected
(even though I wasn't) and "penned". While reading the
book I felt the horse and I were one. Years later I felt like horses
and I had something in common and could relate to each other.
Now, I know horses do not understand what I say to them, but I still
stop and talk to them as if they were human. I feel that if I had
not read that book eleven years ago I wouldn't feel as attached
to horses as I do now. To this day, I refuse to read another horse
book or watch a horse movie that looks like it might be "emotional"
or "sentimental".
Misty & Chatlenaque is still a very prominent book in
my mind, and details of it are remembered frequently. It has had
the profound effect of altering my view of horses and will probably
remain in my memory for life. The book also had the effect of making
me not want to read those kinds of books again. Their emotional
impact was too great on me so I only read mysteries and school books.
To this day I have my reservations about reading an emotional book,
especially if it pertains to animals.
COMMENT: A very competent paper, nearly free of mechanical
errors, but lacking the coherent development of the superior essay.
It is also occasionally repetitious and a bit unfocused at times.
(The correct title of this book is Misty of Chincoteaque.)
SCORE OF FOUR
In the summer of 1981 I worked for the Army Corps of Engineers on
the Warm Springs Dam Project. Much to my objections I was to spend
the entire summer living alone, without my wife, since she had obligations
to keep in Eureka, California.
The project was located 7 miles southwest of Cloverdale, Ca., in
an area which is essentially agricultural. Housing in the area was
very scarce and the lodging which could be found was either too
expensive or unsuitable. By my own preference, I decided it would
be nice to camp out in the woods for the entire duration of the
summer.
At first the evenings after work were hot but beautifully peaceful.
It didn't take long though until I found my self bored to death
looking for something to do besides play solitare. How did the people
in the early days of our world stand life without television. I
was forced to find some other means of entertainment which just
happened to be reading.
The only reading material which was at my camp
was a book left there by my wife on her last visit entitled "The
Stix Complex." This book to most of the world I'm sure has
no great literary value, but to me, it was the greatest entertainment
I had ever found. I realized that in the reading of a book, ones
own imagination can bring out much more detail in a story than television
ever could.
I don't feel that it was the specific book that struck me so much
that summer, and it probably could have been any book. I realized
that we expect to be entertained by television and movies so much
that we forget that we can entertain ourselves to a much higher
degree. I still watch television, but I now read much more for enjoyment.
COMMENT: Although this essay addresses all three aspects
of the topic, development of them is thin. The writer devotes most
of the essay to describing his situation and passes rather quickly
over the book itself and its effects on him. Still, despite a few
mechanical flaws, this is clearly a competent piece of writing.
SCORE OF THREE
I was strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf.
The book discribes a remote animal behavor study, located in a mountainous
region of northern Canada. The purpose of the study was to observe
the animal behavior of wolfs in there natural environment. The study
was conducted by a wildlife biologist, working for the Canadian
goverment.
Up until the time I read the book, I had the impression that wolfs
where among the meanest creatures on the planet. I may have received
this impression from childhood fairy tales that were told to me.
After reading the book severl times, my impression of wolfs had
changed. I no longer viewed wolfs as mean creatues, but instead
viewed them as primarly passive creatures. Their intent was not
to harm, but to survive.
Animal behavior became a primary interest of mine after reading
the book, Never Cry Wolf. Although, I am not a wildlife major, I
have assisted in a wildlife study on wolfs. I would have never gained
this experience if I had not read Never Cry wolf. The knowledge
I gained from the book has opened my eyes to nature.
COMMENT: While no parts of the topic are omitted, treatment
of them tends to be superficial. The writer provides very little
supporting detail. Considerable repetition is present because of
the predominantly simple sentences used. (Note, for example, how
the three opening sentences can easily be combined into one: I was
strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf, which
describes the behavior of wolves living in their natural environment
in the mountains of northern Canada.) Spelling is also weak.
SCORE OF TWO
The purpose of this essay is to describe my personal experience;
that of a particular book which has greatly affected me. This book
is Sweet Thursday by John Stienbeck. This book has greatly
affected my over all outlook on life in general. Sweet Thursday
changed the way I think about myself and others. Also, it has changed
the way I feel about my own career.
The main character of the book was Doc. Doc
had a very profound outlook on twards life, which I found quite
interesting. He gave his career all of his attention yet still felt
an emptyness inside. This was because he was without a meaningful
relationship with a women. I too feel this emptyness, but because
of Sweet Thursday I am able to understand what it is. This
understanding gives me hope when career goals are overwelming.
COMMENT: Although this essay does not ignore the question,
it treats it very poorly. The essay is both thin in content and
lacking in development. The writer uses repetitious simple sentences
rather than more sophisticated sentence structures which would combine
and properly subordinate thoughts and eliminate the repetitions.
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