Smashing relationship stereotypes

Back in the 1960s, even as the Civil Rights movement was changing the face of America, interracial coupling remained a controversial topic. Actor Sidney Poitier made headlines as a black man courting a white woman in the movie "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" Folk-rocker Janis Ian had a No. 1 hit with "Society's Child," a song about the despair brought on by parental disapproval of her interracial romance.

More than a generation later, interracial coupling is still a hot-button issue for liberals and conservatives alike.

Early in the 2000 presidential campaign season, George W. Bush was roundly criticized by liberals and ethnic minorities for speaking at a Southern university that banned interracial dating on campus. Bush later apologized for not having commented on the institutionalized racism there, and the university has since changed its official policy, but students there say that interracial dating is still a social taboo. It is just one of those things that you're not supposed to do.

U.S. census data show less than only 2.7 of American couples (married or living together) are interracial. However, a recent USA Today/Gallup poll found that 57 percent of American teenagers say they've dated someone from another ethnic group.

HSU students ..., Tiffany Wallace, Nicole Fontaine, Angel Padilla, Robby Seeley and Lin Phu see beyond society's culture barriers. photo illustration by Kevin Bell

Is interracial dating then one of those things that happens mostly during the young, experimental years? Do people tend to gravitate to same-race relationships later in life?

Osprey conducted an informal, unscientific poll to see what HSU students thought of interracial dating, and to hear about their experiences.

Most agreed that HSU's liberal/progressive social climate makes interracial coupling less of a stigma here than it is on other campuses and in other parts of the country, but racism still exists in pockets of the surrounding community..

Linh Phu, an Asian woman and junior at HSU, said she has not been treated differently because she has a white boyfriend.

"I haven't had any (bad) encounters with people, I haven't heard about anyone else having problems," she said. "I haven't had any problems here or anywhere else."

Phu's boyfriend, junior Robby Seeley, said that racial hatred has to be unlearned.

"Hatred is something you learn from your parents," Seeley said. "Kids are being exposed to more open ideas in school. Also, television is less conservative and more politically correct."

Then why is interracial coupling still a divisive national issue?

"There are purists out there who want racial lines to be clearly defined," said Phu. "They think white should be white, and Asian should be Asian."

Hostilities arise sometimes when a person sees a member of his or her own race dating someone of a different ethnicity.

"People worry that someone of their own kind can get taken by another race," said Drew Higgins, a white senior who dates a Filipino woman.

Joe Waters, a second-year grad student who is black, asserted that black women feel particularly uncomfortable about seeing black men dating outside their race.

"I think I can say a lot of black women feel that other races are taking their men, and they get angry about that," said Waters, whose wife is Brazilian. "When I went to junior college in San Mateo, these black girls would constantly make comments (about he and his wife), but it was kind of a joking thing."

Waters added that he has not experienced any racism at HSU. But he has a theory about that: "It is because it is an area where there's mostly white people." Racial intolerance is an issue more often multicultural communities, he believes.

"In a sense, diversity is worse," he speculated. "Since there's not a lot of black people up here, there's not a lot of pressure. In Oakland, when my wife and I would go to stores the clerks would give me a blank look that said, 'Here we go again,' and they wouldn't give my wife any eye contact."

Tiffany Wallace, a black woman and HSU sophomore who dates a white man, said she doesn't ever want biracial relationships to be non-controversial.

"I hope it will always be a big deal," said Wallace. "I think that we need to celebrate differences." She said she doubts there will ever be total acceptance of mixed couples: "I don't think that will ever happen."

Wallace said that she has sensed an undercurrent of racism in the community.

"The racism I've received here (in Arcata) is not hostile or overt," she said. "In Eureka I was in line at Burger King and this guy in front of me turned around and stared at me mean. He was a very large white man, snarling at me."

Higgins agreed that some places in Humboldt County aren't so tolerant. He said he and his Filipino girlfriend get no bad vibes, "unless we go to McKinleyville."

His reaction? "I just blow it off."

Seeley agreed: "In McKinleyville there were some things that were different, we didn't get good service at a restaurant."

To be fair, it should also be said that generalities shouldn't be drawn from anecdotal information. Not everyone in McKinleyville or Arcata -- or any other town, for that matter -- thinks alike.

Also, it should also be noted that racial intolerance occurs in non-white cultures, as well.

Angel Padilla, a freshman, said that in his hometown of Los Angeles, among his Latino peers, mixed-race friendships were one thing, but dating was another.

"I dated a black girl once and my friends made fun of me," Angel said.

Padilla's current girlfriend, Nicole Fontaine, a white woman and HSU freshman, said they have been treated like normal people and a regular couple at HSU.

"People smile, nobody sees us as different. Even in Eureka at the mall, nobody says anything. We don't get any dirty looks."

Fontaine said in her hometown of Pittsburg in Contra Costa County, Calif., "it was so diverse it was almost impossible to date my own race. I don't prefer (any one race). I don't see race when I date. Whatever nationality they are, there I am."

Seeley speculated that people are more hostile toward interracial romances because of the thought of mixed-race children.

"People wouldn't know if they should be racist towards them (mixed-race children) or not," said Seeley. "People want a clear definition."

According to Wallace, "Racists don't want a child of their race being raised by another race. They don't like half breeds. They are concerned with the dilution of their own race."

Phu mentioned an isolated incident when she and a black male friend encountered some racism on a footbridge just outside the campus. An older white woman approached them and blurted out: "You shouldn't have sex or have kids because you're Oriental and he's black, and birds of a feather flock together."

Ignoring for a moment that the comment didn't make sense, Phu responded, "Mind your own business, lady!"

Race seems destined to be an eternal issue, as long as differences streak the human horizon. Race will forever be "the floating signifier," as sociologist Stuart Hall calls it. In the end, love is what matters most, our survey respondents said.

"There's no limit; love sees no color," said Roshawnda Willingham, a black woman junior. "I've dated white men before and I don't care what people say. Why should I? My mom didn't give birth to me so people could tell me what to do."