One Thing I miss...

Two Missionaries Open Up About Life on the Road

David is fun to watch when he goes grocery shopping. His hand basket gets filled with sugary sweets and bachelor foods like Doritos, salsa, and cookies. What caught my attention is when he went past the great tubs of coffee. He stops in awe and inhales the aroma like his lungs will explode.

"That is one thing I miss," he says.

"Coffee, or the smell of Lysol on the floors of Safeway?" I ask.

"Coffee, you nerd," he says with a grin.

Caffeine, amongst other things, is not allowed. David is in his third month of being a Mormon missionary. He has been in Fortuna for a month and is getting ready to go down south in a little while. When he found out he was coming to Fortuna, he had trouble finding a map that even had the city printed on it. He took that as a bad sign.

He is wearing the standard missionary outfit. Long sleeved white collared shirt. Black Dockers. Shiny shoes. Boring tie. He has his little manual stuck in his shirt pocket. It has guidelines in it for every day life and how to handle situations. There are rules for everything. When you can be alone, where you are allowed to go, whom you can hang out with.

When he turned 19, the age Mormon men are supposed to go on a mission, he sent in his application to Salt Lake City. The form is discussed in a group of head council members where they look at your preferences and allergies and if you can speak any other languages. You can write where you would like to be sent but they have the final word.

Mormon Building Bombed Remember the Mormon building bombing of last year? Well, this author was part of that story. On Monday, March 8, 1999 the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Institute building on HSU's campus had a bomb explode on their front porch. The front of the building sustained noticeable damage and thankfully was unoccupied at the time. Fortunately, the Institute was able to open its doors only a day later. I remember how shocked everyone on campus was when they found out. It made me angry. We live a town that is supposed to be liberal and open-minded yet hate crimes still exist. I have many friends who are Mormon and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why something like this even happened. Jim Mitchell, director of the institute of religion, remains positive and has no negative feelings whatsoever. Carole Melanson, secretary of the Arcata institute only had one thing to say. "We just carried on. It is more of a curiousity of why, not who." Jim Mitchell stands in front of the new face of the Mormon Institute. A little while after this event occurred, I got a call from the FBI. I workin a hardware store and as it turns out, I was possibly one of the people who sold the pipe piece that was used to make the bomb. I can't even explain the guilt I felt. I was scared my friends who are Mormon would never talk to me again. Imagine answering your phone and finding out the FBI wants to come over and have a chat. They knew where I lived. They knew every single item that was sold that day at the store and who sold it to them. It was very surreal. When they came to my house, it was very Fox- and Scully-like (from tv's "The X- Files",) one man and one woman. The woman was very friendly and the man was all business. They wanted me to remember back a few days and try to recall what the person looked like that bought a galvanized nipple. Now you have to remember as a cashier, I see hundreds of people a day. It is hard enough to remember to show up for work. It is even more difficult to recall a face you saw for maybe ten seconds. Luckily, I could describe a few characteristics that matched the description that a witness gave the night of the bombing. It was frustrating not to be able to remember and it still effects me each day I go to work. I am always suspicious that someone just doing some plumbing is planning on blowing something up. To this day, the case has not been solved.

David got a letter within three weeks telling him to show up at the Mission T Center in Provo, Utah. He then took classes in relationships, family, and homosexuality for about a month.

David was sent to Fortuna after he had finished his classes. He was assigned a partner and roomate, Ed, who is a fellow missionary.

They can make two phone calls a year to their families. Usually on Christmas and Mother's Day. Standard missions last two years. Ed has already sneaked and called his mom. The whole family congregated and took a turn talking to him. Everyone is keeping it quiet so that he doesn't get into trouble.

Their apartment is in a duplex in the middle of Fortuna. It is clean and homey on the outside. When the door opens, you first notice how unlike a single guys' apartment it is. It is clean and smells good. They have lots of pictures of their moms.

The basic history is that a farmer named Joseph Smith was told by Moroni, an angel, that there was a stone box buried that contained golden plates. He translated these plates into the Book of Mormon about 300 years after Christ. The plates took 90 days to translate and it was more than 500 pages long.

The Book of Mormon is used as a second source to the Bible. It is easier to understand. Most try to eat healthy, not a lot of meat and no caffeine. There is also a moral code. It consists of living the life of Jesus Christ. It is a way of life, be pure of thought and morally clean. Help the downtrodden and absolutely no sex before marriage.

A week later, David and Ed came over to visit. We all watched television. I thought it was funny that they came right in and turned on the TV. I was surprised and asked if they were going to get into trouble if their advisors found out. Ed replied that they would be in more trouble if anyone found out that they were alone with a girl. I was shocked and told them so. I felt like I was making them sin. Evidently, while on their mission, they are to not watch television, listen to music, play video games, be on the Internet, be alone with girls, have sex, or have caffeine.

"What is hard is not having coffee. I had coffee everyday on the way to school. I miss the foam on my mochas and the spices that settle on your tongue," David said. Ed added, "I have never been so interested in women in all of my life. I used to not really care and could be friends with tons of females. Now it is totally different. I am so shy and can barely make eye contact. I won't even talk about the sexual frustration. It does make me proud to know that when I get married, my wife will be my first."

David called me a week later and said he had to show me something. I was scared, a little interested, but scared nonetheless. He showed up grinning from ear to ear. He started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oh my God, um, please keep your clothes on," I said.

He stopped at three buttons and showed me his nipple. It appeared he had decided to get his nipple pierced. I just about died. I was proud. I think he is learning quite a lot living in Humboldt County.

It is now two weeks before they are leaving. Before they go, they were going to have one more day of going door to door to try to get people interested in the church. They wake up at 6:30 study the Book of Mormon for an hour by themselves. Then they study for an hour together. Their advisor calls at 9:00 to make sure they are up and moving. He also calls at 9:30 every evening to make sure they are home. That is their curfew.

They head off to have breakfast at a church members' house. They pretty much never buy food. All of the members feed them. Starvation will surely never happen to these two men. After finishing their meal they head off for their day of going door to door. Ed knocks on the first door. An elderly lady pokes her head out. David smiles and holds up his bible.

"Could we talk to you for a few minutes?" he asks.

The lady looks them up and down a few times. "All right," she replied.

The house was warm cozy. She was still in her bathrobe and curlers. They sat down and he proceeded to ask if she belonged to a church. The women said that she was so old she was sure she belonged to several. David tried to talk and she continued on telling about life when she was little. David and Ed patiently listen and thank her for her time.

I asked if they felt pressure to go on their mission. I was met with silence for a good long time. David turned and looked at me. He said he loved his church, his parents, his life, but he knew his mom would have been embarrassed if he didn't go away. She would have had to listen to all the talk at church. People at church would wonder why he was still home.

"I wanted to leave for a while anyway. I thought it would be a good test of faith. However, I can't honestly say I didn't feel any pressure from the church to go. People expect it, especially of the men."

"Women are expected to stay home. It is different for us. I would have been too embarrassed to show my face at church after turning 19. There is a respect you gain when you return home. You give talks, people admire and respect you. It is just easier to go for two years than to deal with resentment for the rest of you life. Besides, it is a good time to grow and realize your faith."

After a few more door slams in the face, they decided to go have lunch. They were tired. You could feel their spirits had been broken for the day. I asked why anyone would go through this. I was really starting to respect them. Ed said that they were not the only people doing this. The church grows by the thousands every year.

It is one of the most popular religions lately to be involved in. They get more new members than any other religion except Buddhism. Every week another hundred missionaries are sent out all over the world. There are currently 30,000 missionaries out teaching right now.

The next time I saw their apartment there were boxes thrown everywhere and the place was a mess.They were leaving for a day of teaching in Crescent City, then they were on their way to Southern California two days after that. It was sad. For some reason, without even knowing it, I had grown attached to these two boys. I liked them.

They were completely dorky with their ties and Dockers but they had been my new friends. I had learned a lot. I bought them a Mariah Carey tape for their going away present. They were not allowed to play it again until after I had left.

They locked the apartment and gave the key to the landlord.

"Can I give you a hug?" I asked.

They smiled and held out their arms. I gave David a bag of coffee. I told him to save it for a special occasion. He held the bag up to his nose and sniffed long.

"Thanks," he said.