Robert Sallinen III, lived in Fort Bragg, Calif., and delivered packages as a UPS driver. In fact he was one of the most popular drivers on the Mendocino Coast. But one day, he decided to get away from all the people he had ever known. So off to Redding he went. I had met him fleetingly through a high-school buddy of mine. I’d heard a lot about him –- that he was running for governor, that he was hilariously funny -- so I decided to contact him.

I got his e-mail address and sent him a message. He gave me directions to his house and I made my way to the tiny town of Igo, about 10 miles outside of Redding. I pulled up to the one stop sign in town. All the trailers and houses there had seen better days. Weathered siding, collapsed roofs, broken windows and cars on blocks were abundant. I continued on a one-lane road, and soon I came to his driveway.

What I saw took me by surprise: a cross between a redneck crack house and an upscale, Hilton-esque property. The front yard was littered with beer cans, hammers, broken boards, tool belts and sawhorses. There was a small pond to the right of the house. Nearby was a rusting metal shed with tons of random toys, tools, and junk. And of course, there was also a big, dark blue Dodge Ram pick-up truck. This was the home and the property of 34-year-old Robert Sallinen III.

“How’s it going there?” Bob said as I exited my car. He was no more than 5 feet 10 inches tall and a little pudgy around the waist. His brown hair was combed over and he had a Southern drawl reminiscent of Garth Brooks. He was wearing a blue shirt, denim jeans and a belt buckle that damn near blinded me in the hot Igo sun.

There had been so much I had heard about this man, and only having met him briefly before, I wanted to ask him a thousand questions. I wanted to hear for myself why people considered him such a great guy. But before I could ask anything…

“I’m sure the first thing you want to know is if I am gay. I’m sure I don’t look gay,” he said with a straight face. “And by the way, I don’t like the term ‘gay.’ Gay guys are the ones you see on TV with flimsy wrists and the lisp and are into fashion. I just happen to like guys sexually. I can certainly appreciate a hot-looking woman, and to be honest, I have had sex with women, too. I’m what they call ‘tri-sexual.’”

“Tri-sexual?” I asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll try anything,” he said, laughing.

Soon after we stopped laughing, the conversation turned to his campaign for governor. I had heard he was running, but he was nowhere to be found on the official list of candidates.

“I had the necessary signatures to get on the ballot, but once I had heard that there were about 500 people running, I decided that it would be a waste of money to run, so I didn’t. I’m sure I would have had a lot of fun though, with my views on things,” Bob chuckled.

President Bush said that he believes there should be a federal law or a Constitutional amendment outlawing gay marriage. Bob vehemently disagrees with the president, despite being a fellow Republican.

“Listen, if those churchy freaks want to keep marriage between a man and a woman, don’t let homos marry in your church! It’s that simple! We should have the right to legally marry. Key word there: legally,” Bob said with a hint of anger in his voice.

“That’s why I like Arnold. He’s supportive of gay people adopting children, domestic partner benefits and legal protection for gay and lesbians. That’s what I wanted. He doesn’t want the term ‘marriage’ in there, but that’s understandable. Say you support ‘gay marriage’ and you lose all support, say you support ‘domestic partnerships’ and you’re safe.”

Bob had a peculiar way of showing eagerness or excitement. He got a good laugh going, and then rubbed his hands together, like he was trying to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. He did this over and over as if he said something funny or outlandish.

After a while at Bob’s place, we went into Redding to go eat. It was there that I learned that Bob does, in fact, have Tourette’s syndrome. According to health.yahoo.com, Tourette’s syndrome is a complex condition that comes up during childhood or puberty. It is distinguished by frequent and involuntary body movements (tics). “A tic is a sudden, rapid, stereotyped motor movement or vocalization. Tics can include eye blinking, repeated throat clearing or sniffing, arm thrusting, kicking movements, shoulder shrugging or jumping.” Tourette’s syndrome is estimated to affect 2 percent of the general population.

This explained Bob’s strange hand rubbing. He does not, however, have the stereotypical Tourette’s syndrome tics that cause the sufferer to spout random obscenities.

“I may use profanity, but it sure isn’t random!” he said over a rib-eye steak at the Outback Steakhouse. Contrary to popular belief, the use of profanity (coprolalia) occurs in only a minority of patients.

After our lunch, his cell phone rang. It was his sister. She wanted him to buy a dinette set, deliver it to her house and pay him back later. Bob, of course, said OK. So off to a discount store we went.

After he purchased the dinette set, we delivered it to her house. A traveling carnival was at the big mall, so Bob gave his niece and nephew $10 each to spend there.

Bob said he also wanted to be a comedian. He was already a funny guy around his friends. In fact, one time he and a couple of friends went to Sacramento to be a part of a comedy show at Laughs Unlimited. It was an open-mike night. Bob had a blast.

“Oh, it was great. I did the Clinton-Harlequin book deal. They ate that one up!” Bob exclaimed.

He performed the “Clinton-Harlequin” book skit for me in the truck after we visited his sister.

“Well, I heard this past week that President Clinton signed a deal with Harlequin books, you know, the romance book company. Anyway, they released a small chapter that I was able to get my hands on, and I’m going to share it with you folks right now.”

He proceeded to tell me the crude joke about Clinton, implying, shall we say, acts of incest between him and a braces-wearing Chelsea.

Now, when I heard this, being a Clinton supporter, I was both shocked and appalled. But at the same time, it was damn funny. I could only imagine the collective “Gasp!” and utters of “Did he just say that?”

Robert Sallinen III is an eccentric man who could talk about anything. We talked about politics, real estate, Halloween, comedy, Fort Bragg, rednecks, and anything else that we wanted. He sang along to Garth Brooks songs, promptly making up his own lyrics. He gave me a CD on which he turns “Two Piña Coladas” into “Two Hits of Marijuana.”

The time I spent with Bob was a lot of fun and I learned a lot form him. While he could be a bit crude, I figured perhaps the world would be a better place with more Bobs in it.